My wife is in post-op right now following a procedure that took her four smaller toes from her right foot. She was scared to death prior to the operation and expectedly upset that a clot in her leg ended up claiming some of her digits. She'll recover, of course, with time, patience, determination, and courage. … Continue reading Pieces of Her, Pieces of Me
When you enter into recovery you learn that you are, in-fact, two different people in one body. That's not an assertion of mental illness, but a recognition of the reality that you are either a person that drinks and/or does drugs or you are a person that doesn't do those things. When you engage the … Continue reading Monster by Skillet
The closer my wife gets to losing her toes, the closer I get to losing my mind. And my patience. And my temper. And my self-control. I feel as though I am perpetually on the ragged edge of completely losing my shit. I'm angry that fate is being so unkind to my wife. I'm angry … Continue reading Day 49: Keep Calm & Stay Sober
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable. Trying to "work the steps" while your life is in chaos can be damn-near impossible. I can admit without reservation or hesitation that the aforementioned First Step just plain pisses me off. I tend to be regarded by some as … Continue reading 48 Days: Irascible Me
I just don't know what's going on with me. The other night, while I was stopping into a local convenience store to get cigarettes, I noticed a new flavor that piqued my curiosity. I bought a pack and the store clerk, whom I am friends with, remarked that finally someone he knew bought a pack … Continue reading 47 Days by a Very Thin Thread
My wife spent a week in the hospital - half of that time in Intensive Care - being treated for a blood clot in her lower leg. What appears to be the inevitable outcome of this is that she will ultimately lose some, if not all, of her toes on one foot. She's being treated … Continue reading 42 Days: In Sickness And In Health
ALL ABOARD........ My sobriety almost stopped at 37 days. Almost. After what was not my best day at work I visited with my wife at the hospital. There was definitive improvement in her condition and she welcomed me with the news that she would be transferred out of ICU later in the evening. Though she … Continue reading 38 Days: Going Off The Rails
I'm sitting in the hospital's ICU where my wife is weathering another series of tests and procedures. She's resting peacefully right now, which is more than I can say of the past couple of nights for me, though I don't envy her the trials she is enduring. Her condition remains largely unchanged, even if her … Continue reading 37 Days Sober, 3 Days Tested
I'm sitting in a hospital room, looking across to my wife, whom is heavily sedated and oblivious to my presence. She is resting peacefully, blissful in appearance, and I am thankful that, for the moment, she isn't writhing in agony like she was when I brought her here last night. In about an hour they'll … Continue reading 36 Days Sober – The Real Test
Last night I lamented that I felt like I traded my personality for my sobriety. In many ways that statement is completely true, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. The identity that I left behind when I stopped drinking was not a man that I wanted to keep being. It was that of a … Continue reading 35 Days: Sink or Swim
Hello, My Name Is Steve 