My wife is in post-op right now following a procedure that took her four smaller toes from her right foot. She was scared to death prior to the operation and expectedly upset that a clot in her leg ended up claiming some of her digits. She'll recover, of course, with time, patience, determination, and courage. … Continue reading Pieces of Her, Pieces of Me
The closer my wife gets to losing her toes, the closer I get to losing my mind. And my patience. And my temper. And my self-control. I feel as though I am perpetually on the ragged edge of completely losing my shit. I'm angry that fate is being so unkind to my wife. I'm angry … Continue reading Day 49: Keep Calm & Stay Sober
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable. Trying to "work the steps" while your life is in chaos can be damn-near impossible. I can admit without reservation or hesitation that the aforementioned First Step just plain pisses me off. I tend to be regarded by some as … Continue reading 48 Days: Irascible Me
I just don't know what's going on with me. The other night, while I was stopping into a local convenience store to get cigarettes, I noticed a new flavor that piqued my curiosity. I bought a pack and the store clerk, whom I am friends with, remarked that finally someone he knew bought a pack … Continue reading 47 Days by a Very Thin Thread
My wife spent a week in the hospital - half of that time in Intensive Care - being treated for a blood clot in her lower leg. What appears to be the inevitable outcome of this is that she will ultimately lose some, if not all, of her toes on one foot. She's being treated … Continue reading 42 Days: In Sickness And In Health
I'm sitting in the hospital's ICU where my wife is weathering another series of tests and procedures. She's resting peacefully right now, which is more than I can say of the past couple of nights for me, though I don't envy her the trials she is enduring. Her condition remains largely unchanged, even if her … Continue reading 37 Days Sober, 3 Days Tested
I'm sitting in a hospital room, looking across to my wife, whom is heavily sedated and oblivious to my presence. She is resting peacefully, blissful in appearance, and I am thankful that, for the moment, she isn't writhing in agony like she was when I brought her here last night. In about an hour they'll … Continue reading 36 Days Sober – The Real Test
It doesn't surprise me that as I drove to Emergency Room in pursuit of the ambulance that was carrying my wife that I was conscious of all the liquor stores along the way. This has been a major reason for why I returned to drinking. I'm sitting in the Emergency Room now, wondering how serious … Continue reading Triggered in the Hospital
I'm tired of my sobriety. I don't mean that in a "I'm going to have a few drinks" kind of way (even though I can honestly admit that I do want to drink). I mean that in the sense that I feel like my sobriety is all I have become anymore. I get that I'm … Continue reading Day 34: Me or Sobriety
Today is supposed to be something to celebrate: achieving thirty days of sobriety. The truth is that every day of sobriety is a battle won and a small victory. For many recovering addicts, today yields a bronze coin to commemorate the occasion, a token of accomplishment, and a small reminder that if you can make … Continue reading The Big 3-0
Hello, My Name Is Steve 